


Are you there

by WeakKneas



Series: One Shots/could totally be read without reading CSASM [3]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 19:05:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11561439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeakKneas/pseuds/WeakKneas
Summary: John struggled to understand, he struggled and struggled and continued to do so. But he didn't understand. He probably never would.





	Are you there

The first time John wrote to his soulmate he was twelve and lounging around in his father's office (he didn't want to be there but his father insisted that he could actually learn something while watching him work.), his father had been signing papers to secure the land they owned while the war came to a finish in Downtown. He had been bored out of his mind and was counting the books on the shelf when he felt the tingling sensation on his arm. 

It had been an unreadable scribble; something about coffee at nine. Neither less John was still hyped about it, discreetly responding with a 'Hello?' before patiently waiting for a reply that never came. 

* * *

 

The second time John wrote to his other half he was in his junior year of highschool and the night that followed this day was the big ballroom reveal (an actual ball hosted by Senator Schuyler) and quite frankly he was worried. Would he be better of not showing? Everyone else he had known had been writing to their soulmates for as long as they could remember. And some of the most powerful families (The Lafayette's and Jefferson's) had supposedly met their other halves already. 

But John? John had not received a word since the coffee scribble. 

He decided he was going to change that. 

_I know you exist? At least give me something, anything to clear my mind. Show up tonight, please._

John went to the ball anyway. He returned home soulmateless and with an angry father on his heels. 

His soulmate had not written back. 

* * *

 

The third time John wrote he had broken free from the clutches of Henry Laurens, had lived to turn twenty-one and was starting his freshmen year of college surrounded by friends, he had not been the one to write first. 

He knows this because he was marathoning Disney movies with Lafayette, Mulligan, and the Schuyler sisters. Peggy had been painting his nails when she noticed it and began to scream, "John! Holy shit! Your arm! Look at your arm!"

John had been startled awake and movie paused, the group all leaning forward to snag a glance at his usually bare arm. His breath caught in his throat as he looked over the pen drawing clearly illustrated by a child, the same scribbling from years ago littering underneath it. 

_From Uncle Alex and Theo! To Uncle John._

Then in messier writing done by the child;  _Uncle Alex says we meat you somdy!_

"Uncle?" Peggy says bluntly with confusion, Angelica swats her head while John frantically searches for a pen. Lafayette supplies him with one, he briefly thanks him. Hand trembling as he writes back; 

_Thank you sweetheart, the drawing is lovely. I can't wait to meet the two of you someday._

John has never felt so cherished before in his. 

* * *

 

The fourth time he writes to Alexander he is in distress at the news Elizabeth had given him earlier. 

_"Philip's dad, John... He told me his name was Alexander Hamilton when we met."_

He remembers being confused as the truth dawned onto him. He remembered the feeling of his heart shattering in his ribcage as it sunk in his head. He remembered the absolute rage he felt that Eliza had kept this from him for four years.

John struggled to understand, he struggled and struggled and continued to do so. But he didn't understand. He probably never would.

He remembered telling her that he needed time to think about what she had told him. Telling her she wasn't upset with her. 

He remembered missing class and calling in sick for work. He remembered curling into bed. He remembered trying to cry over a stranger he had never met. A stranger Eliza had drank and laughed with. 

He remembered taking a pen and writing down on his skin. 

_How could you?_

John remembered the tingling sensation and the reply he wouldn't never forget. 

_I'm sorry._

* * *

 

_Alexander hadn't gotten a reply back._


End file.
